Contrary to the media’s depiction of nasty divorces, not all marriages end in a vindictive war between both partners. In some cases, both sides understand that the marriage is going nowhere and it is best to move on in another direction. It gets more complicated when children are involved since one side will be granted physical custody, but that doesn’t have to turn the divorce into a dog fight. There are ways to survive a child custody case while maintaining a good report with your spouse.
Custody mediation brings plenty of opportunities to share the inside secrets of your spouse’s everyday activities. This, however, should be handled with plenty of care. When answering questions to the judge, only give them the relevant information they are asking for. Don’t embellish the truth or try to make your spouse look like they are the enemy. The court makes its decisions based on facts, not opinions. By keeping your answers factual you will avoid burning any bridges that might come back to haunt you.
Act in Good Faith
If you still respect your ex then chances are they have proven to you that they can be trusted. There is no reason this situation should change because of the divorce. Just because your love for each other did not flourish does not mean they are a bad person. Continue to act on the premise of “innocent until proven guilty. Give them a chance to participate in your child’s life without unnecessary rules or restrictions. While you may not love each other, there are plenty of mutual benefits to having another responsible parent in your child’s life.
Some people abuse the power of being granted physical custody. They assume the role of dictator over the children and make life difficult for the other parent. Not only can this type of behavior infringe on custody rights, but quite frankly it is downright unethical. By working with your ex to accommodate both of your schedules you will make life much more pleasant for the both of you and your children. With today’s kids taking part in so many activities in school and sports, it is virtually impossible to have a fixed visitation schedule. Always be flexible with visitation days and communicate through the process to keep the parental relationship amicable.
Think of the Kids
Often lost in the post-divorce territorial battle are the children’s feelings. It is bad enough they often feel responsible for the breakup, but having them suffer through more parental conflict is devastating. If you have maintained a working relationship with your divorced spouse, make sure you cherish it. Most divorces end in heated battles that draw a line between two families. The more you are able to preserve unity for the children the better chance they will have to experience the love of a strong family. It is simply not worth risking this over trivial arguments.
Winning custody is often the highlight of an otherwise painful divorce process. But child custody is much more than a glorified power trip over your spouse. It involves managing the development of your child, which typically means making sure both parents share an important role in their lives. If you and your partner have maintained a respect for each other through the hard times it is worth the effort to preserve this understanding. Nothing can ever replace the loving power of having both parents working together for the benefit of their children.
Child Custody Mediation And Its Issues
Child custody mediation is a method of arbitration between separating parents which would devise a plan for the care of their children after divorce. This is normally done or completed in the presence of a third party that is completely neutral. Previously, mediation was done privately with the elders of the family getting involved. Now, most of the parents are getting the court involved and mediation is performed by the court and its lawyers.
Child custody mediation is quite important for the custody of the child and these negotiations can help the child release some sort of stress which stems out from the divorce. With both parents working together on a plan, the child would feel connected with both of them. During the negotiations, children are also involved and this would help them in the future as they can express their feelings and can decide on which route they want to take. Mediation also gives the children the right, if they are old enough to decide a major decision in their life. Mediation also helps in the relationship of the parents, as history has shown that it reduces child custody battles. It is also a fact that there are more chances of an agreement in mediation than in court litigation.
Mediation also gives power to the parents on deciding their relationship with the child in the future, unlike litigation where the judge is in command and gives it a verdict. Financially, mediation also allows parents to save money that is spent on court cases and litigation.
For parents, approaching meditation with an open mind of settling things is important, without it, the talks are bound to fail. Also, parents should not think of their future but should instead concentrate on their child and their relationship with him. During meditation, listening to the mediator is extremely important as without trusting the mediator, things can never move forward. Always come prepared during a mediation session and decide on what points you want to discuss. Parents also need to have very good communication with their child as this would help them understand the needs of the child; after all, the mediation is about the child and not the parents.
Things often become heated during exchanges in mediation; parents should remain calm and focused on the task ahead. The exchanges should be fair and balanced and each side should be heard. All the ideas should be taken into consideration and the meeting should be held with the view of resolving the dispute and not to create a new one.
Selecting a mediator is perhaps the most important aspect of the whole exercise. Before turning to the court for a mediator, it is recommended to find an experienced family elder who should have the expertise and have been involved in previous mediation. Involving a family mediator helps to retain the privacy of the whole process and things can remain in the family. Child custody mediation is a very respectable way of dealing with issues of child custody that arise after a divorce.