What Can be Used Against you in a Custody Battle?

Custody Battle Tips

Going through a custody battle can be an emotionally challenging and high-stakes situation for any parent. The well-being and future of your child are at the forefront, making it crucial to be well-informed about all aspects of the legal process. One of the key elements to consider is understanding what can be used against you in a custody battle.

In the midst of a custody battle, every action, word, and decision can potentially be scrutinized and used as evidence against you. It is essential to be aware of what factors may impact the court’s decision regarding custody arrangements. By understanding what can be used against you, you can take proactive steps to protect your rights and the best interests of your child.

What Can be Used Against you in a Custody Battle

In the following sections, we will delve into some common areas that could be used against you. From your behavior and lifestyle choices to your communication and relationship with your child, we will explore the potential factors that may affect your custody case. By addressing these aspects head-on and understanding their implications, you will be better equipped to protect your rights, present a strong case, and work towards a favorable outcome in the custody battle.

Best Interest of the Child Standard

When a court decides on custody agreements, it needs to consider the best interest of the child in determining an appropriate parenting plan. To help make this determination, the court considers several factors and criteria. Here’s what you need to know.

Texas Family Code § 153.002 Best Interest of the Child. The best interest of the child shall always be the primary consideration of the court in determining the issues of conservatorship and possession of and access to the child.

Length of Time with Caregivers

One factor that the court examines when assessing the child’s best interest is the length of time that the child has been under the care and control of someone other than a parent. This could be because of a death or illness in the family or simply because the child has been living elsewhere for some time. The court will take into account any relevant circumstances in making this determination.

Best Interest of the Child Standard

Parental Desires

Another important factor that courts consider is the desires of both parents regarding residence agreements. Generally speaking, it is presumed that if both parents come to a mutually agreed upon agreement, it is likely to be in the best interests of the child.

Interaction and Relationships

The court considers the child’s relationships with their parents, siblings, and any other person who might significantly affect them. They also examine the child’s ability to adjust to their home and community and their willingness and ability to maintain a relationship with their other parent.

Evidence of Abuse

In some cases, evidence or allegations of spousal or child abuse may be present. If there is evidence or an allegation of spousal abuse, the court must evaluate this before making any determination. The same applies if either parent is required to register as a sex offender if either parent is residing with a person who is required to register as a sex offender, if either parent has been convicted of abusing a child, or if either parent is living with someone who has been convicted of abusing a child.

Things That Can Ruin Your Case

As you prepare to fight for primary custody of your children, it’s important to remember that all of your behavior will be observed and evaluated by the court. Your ex-spouse may try to point out any negative behavior on your part during the proceedings. To ensure that your actions do not negatively impact your chances of gaining custody, you must always present yourself in a positive light.

Keep in mind that children are very perceptive and often repeat what they hear. So take care to avoid saying or doing anything around them that may be detrimental to your case.

Things That Can Ruin Your Case

It’s also helpful to consider how you would act if a judge were standing next to you at all times. This reminder can help you stay mindful of the sorts of behaviors that will help put you in the best possible light during the trial. A good rule of thumb is to conduct yourself as though there were two courts – one in the courtroom and one at home with your children. That way, you can maintain a professional demeanor both inside and outside of the court’s walls.

Here are 6 things that can be used against you in a custody battle:

1. Social Media and Online Interactions

You need to realize the impact your online activities will have on custody proceedings. Social media has become an integral part of our lives, allowing us to share moments, opinions, and personal details with just a few clicks. However, what you post online can potentially be used against you in a custody battle.

Family courts consider the best interests of the child when making custody decisions. This includes assessing the environment and lifestyle of each parent. As such, your social media presence can provide valuable insights into your character, behavior, and parenting style.

  • Be mindful of the content you share on social media platforms. Avoid posting anything that could be perceived as irresponsible, inappropriate, or detrimental to the child’s well-being. This includes excessive partying, drug or alcohol use, offensive language, or sharing provocative or controversial content.
  • Remember, privacy settings are not foolproof, and even seemingly harmless posts can be accessed or shared by others. It’s prudent to assume that anything you post online could potentially be seen by the other party or even presented as evidence in court.
  • Be cautious about what others post about you on social media. Friends and family members may innocently share photos or comments that could be misinterpreted or taken out of context. Communicate your concerns to them and politely request their discretion when it comes to sharing personal information or images related to your custody battle.
  • Consider taking a break from social media altogether during this sensitive period. Temporarily deactivating your accounts or limiting your online presence can help protect your rights and prevent any potential misinterpretations or misrepresentations.

2. Critical Communications

When going through divorce proceedings, knowing that the other parent may be recording your phone calls is important. While technically not admissible in court, this type of audio recording can still be used by the judge to determine a parent’s intentions and state of mind. Therefore, when conversing with the other parent, be mindful of your words and avoid stating anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying if the judge were present.

Mad Man yelling on Phone

It’s important to be mindful of your online correspondences, especially in custody battles. Text messages, emails, and phone calls can be used as evidence against you.

Text messages

Text messages, for instance, are quite commonly used in court proceedings. They can provide a clear glimpse into your interactions and conversations with the other parent or your child. Judges may examine the tone, language, and content of these messages to assess your communication style and the overall relationship between you and the other parent. Maintaining a respectful and cooperative tone in all your text exchanges is crucial, avoiding any inflammatory or derogatory language that could be used against you.


Similarly, emails can also be used as evidence in a custody battle. These can include correspondences between you and the other parent or even messages sent to third parties discussing matters related to your child. It’s important to be cautious about what you write in emails, ensuring that your language is always appropriate and focused on the best interests of your child.

Phone calls

Phone calls can be trickier to use as evidence, as they are usually not recorded unless explicitly stated. However, if a call is recorded with your knowledge or consent, it can potentially be used in court. It’s important to be aware of this possibility and be mindful of your words and tone during phone conversations related to your child.

Yelling at either your ex or your children could easily give the appearance that you are bullying or abusive, which will be taken very seriously by the courts. Such recordings would demonstrate you are losing control, possibly becoming dangerous.

To avoid this situation, it is best to refrain from yelling or raising your voice when talking to your wife or children. If this becomes a general rule, then you won’t need to worry about such behavior hindering your standing in court.

3. Substance Abuse and Criminal History

As we discussed, when it comes to custody battles, the court’s primary concern is the best interests of the child or children involved. As a result, certain factors can heavily influence the court’s decision, and one of those factors is a parent’s history of substance abuse or criminal activities.

Substance abuse issues, such as drug or alcohol addiction, can raise red flags in custody cases. If a parent has a documented history of substance abuse, it can be seen as a detriment to the child’s well-being and safety. The court will consider the parent’s ability to provide a stable and secure environment for the child, and substance abuse can cast doubt on that ability.

Similarly, criminal activities can also have significant consequences in custody battles. Any history of criminal behavior, especially if it involves violence or poses a risk to the child, can be used against a parent in court. The court will prioritize the safety of the child and may view a parent’s criminal history as a potential threat to the child’s welfare.

4. Mental Health Issues

During a custody battle, mental health issues can play a significant role in the decision-making process. Courts prioritize the best interests of the child, and they take into consideration the mental and emotional well-being of both parents. Understanding how mental health records and evaluations can impact custody decisions is crucial for protecting your rights.

When it comes to mental health records, the court may request access to:

  • your medical history
  • therapy sessions
  • and any psychiatric evaluations you have undergone

These records can shed light on your mental stability, ability to care for your child, and potential risks or concerns.

Mental Health Issues

Not all mental health issues automatically disqualify a parent from obtaining custody. However, certain conditions or behaviors that pose a risk to the child’s safety or well-being may be taken into account. For example, if a parent has a history of substance abuse, untreated severe mental illness, or a pattern of violent behavior, it could negatively impact their custody case.

Court-appointed professionals often conduct psychological evaluations to assess the mental health of both parents. These evaluations typically involve interviews, psychological testing, and observations of parent-child interactions. The evaluator’s findings and recommendations can significantly influence custody decisions.

Remember, custody battles involving mental health issues can be delicate and emotionally challenging. It’s important to prioritize the well-being of your child and work towards creating a supportive environment that addresses any concerns raised by the court.

If you have a history of mental health issues, it’s important to be proactive in your custody battle. Seek professional help, attend therapy sessions, and follow any prescribed treatment plans. Demonstrating your commitment to managing your mental health can help mitigate concerns and show the court that you are capable of providing a stable and nurturing environment for your child.

It’s crucial to consult with a family law attorney who specializes in custody battles and understands the complexities surrounding mental health issues. They can guide you through the legal process, help you gather necessary evidence, and advocate for your rights in court.

5. Parenting Style and Behavior

During a custody battle, one of the most critical aspects that will be closely scrutinized is your parenting style and behavior. The court will carefully evaluate how you interact with your child, your ability to provide a safe and nurturing environment and your overall approach to parenting.

Every action, decision, and behavior can potentially be used against you in court. This means that your parenting practices, such as discipline methods, communication style, and involvement in your child’s education and extracurricular activities, will be thoroughly examined.

Parenting Style and Behavior

The court will also pay attention to any evidence of irresponsible behavior or neglect, such as substance abuse, domestic violence, or criminal activities. Your ability to prioritize your child’s well-being and maintain a stable and healthy lifestyle will heavily impact the court’s decision.

Be mindful of your actions during the custody battle. Avoid engaging in behavior that could be perceived as detrimental to your child’s best interests. This includes refraining from :

  • making derogatory remarks about the other parent
  • withholding visitation rights
  • or involving the child in the conflict.

It’s important to follow court orders if your ex has visitation rights. Interfering with their time with the child risks setting a bad precedent in a custody battle and goes against the policy of maintaining contact between both parents.

Remember, the court’s primary concern is the well-being and best interests of the child. By understanding the importance of parenting style and behavior in a custody battle, you can take proactive steps to protect your rights and demonstrate your commitment to being a responsible and loving parent.

To strengthen your case, demonstrate a cooperative attitude toward co-parenting and a willingness to foster a positive relationship between your child and the other parent. Showing that you are capable of putting your child’s needs first and fostering a healthy co-parenting dynamic can significantly influence the court’s perception of your parenting abilities.

6. Witness Testimony

Witness testimonies play a crucial role in custody battles and can have a significant impact on the outcome of the proceedings. In these cases, witnesses are individuals who can provide relevant information or testify about the parties involved, their parenting abilities, and the child’s best interests.

The court often considers testimonies from various sources, including:

  • family members
  • friends
  • neighbors
  • teachers
  • coaches
  • any other observers of interactions with the child(ren).

These witnesses can shed light on your character, parenting skills, involvement in the child’s life, and overall suitability as a custodial parent.

Not all witnesses will have a positive impact on your case. In fact, witness testimonies can also be used against you if they provide unfavorable information or paint a negative picture of your parenting abilities. For instance, a witness might testify about instances of neglect, substance abuse, violent behavior, or any other behavior that could potentially harm the child’s well-being.

To protect your rights in a custody battle, carefully consider the witnesses you choose to present and understand how their testimonies may affect your case. It is advisable to select witnesses who can provide factual and objective information, have a close relationship with the child, and can attest to your positive qualities as a parent.

Documentation and Organization

When it comes to a custody battle, documentation is key to protecting your rights as a parent. Keeping thorough records and documentation can make a significant difference in the outcome of your case.

  • Keep a detailed record of all interactions and communications related to your children. This includes emails, text messages, and any written or verbal agreements or disagreements with your co-parent. These records can serve as evidence in court and help establish a pattern of behavior or establish your credibility as a responsible and involved parent.
  • Maintaining a calendar or diary can be extremely useful. Use it to document important dates such as visitation schedules, doctor’s appointments, school events, extracurricular activities, and any other relevant information. Having a clear record of your involvement in your children’s lives can demonstrate your commitment and dedication as a parent.
  • Financial documentation is also critical. Keep track of child support payments, expenses related to your children’s care, and any other financial contributions you make. This includes receipts, invoices, bank statements, and any other relevant documents. Demonstrating your financial responsibility and ability to provide for your children can strengthen your case.
  • Organize all the documentation in a logical and easily accessible manner. Create folders or files for each category and keep them well-organized. This will not only help you locate important information quickly but also present a professional and prepared image to the court.

Hire an Experienced Child Custody Attorney

When navigating a custody battle, hiring an experienced family law attorney can make all the difference. While it may be tempting to try and handle the situation on your own, the complexities of family law and the emotional nature of custody battles make it essential to have professional legal representation by your side.

Child Custody Attorney

One of the key benefits of hiring a family law attorney is their in-depth knowledge and understanding of the legal system. They are well-versed in the specific laws and regulations that govern custody battles and can provide valuable insights and guidance throughout the process. This expertise allows them to assess your unique situation, identify any potential challenges, and develop a strategic approach to protect your rights and interests.

An experienced family law attorney brings a wealth of courtroom experience to the table. They have likely handled numerous custody cases before and are familiar with the judges, opposing counsel, and potential arguments that may arise. This experience allows them to anticipate challenges, prepare strong arguments, and present their case in the most effective way possible.

Hiring a family law attorney provides you with a much-needed support system during this emotionally challenging time. They can offer objective advice and guidance, helping you make informed decisions and avoid common pitfalls. They can also act as a buffer between you and the opposing party, minimizing direct conflict and reducing stress.

Another advantage of having legal representation is their ability to gather evidence and build a strong case on your behalf. They have the resources and connections to conduct investigations, gather witness statements, obtain necessary documentation, and present compelling evidence to support your position. This can be particularly valuable when it comes to addressing any potential factors that could be used against you in the custody battle.

Having a family law attorney by your side sends a powerful message to the opposing party and the court. It demonstrates that you are taking the matter seriously and are committed to protecting your rights and the best interests of your child. This can help to level the playing field and ensure that your voice is heard and considered throughout the proceedings.

FAQs on Custody Battles

Can You Lose Custody for Not Co-Parenting?

The short answer is yes; you can lose custody if you are not willing to co-parent. A judge will consider a parent’s ability to cooperate and communicate when making a decision on child custody. If one parent is consistently uncooperative or unreachable, the other parent may be awarded sole legal and physical custody.

What Is Considered Harassment by a Co-Parent?

Harassment by a co-parent is any behavior that disturbs another person’s peace or is likely to cause alarm, annoyance, or fear. This includes but is not limited to verbal abuse, threats of violence, intentional property damage, or repeating communication after being asked to stop. Any of these behaviors should be reported to your local law enforcement office.

Can I Call the Police if My Ex Won’t Let Me See My Child?

Yes, you may be able to call the police if your ex won’t let you see your child. The police may mediate the situation and work with both parents to come up with an agreement. However, it is always best to first try to work out your issues through your lawyer or a court-appointed mediator.

Can I Call CPS for Parental Alienation?

Yes, you can call Child Protective Services (CPS) if you believe that one parent is deliberately attempting to alienate the child from the other parent. It is important to provide evidence of parental alienation for CPS to take action. Additionally, parents who have experienced parental alienation may want to pursue legal action in case court intervention is needed.

What Happens if You Leave the State With an Open CPS Case?

Leaving the state while an open CPS case is still ongoing could result in criminal charges of interfering with a court order. This occurs when a parent ignores a court order for them to remain in the state until the conclusion of their CPS case. Parents should always seek legal advice before moving or relocating during an open CPS case.

If I Leave My Husband and Take My Child Is It Kidnapping?

No, it is not kidnapping if you leave your husband and take your child. In some states, taking your child with you without permission could be considered custodial interference, but this is not the same as kidnapping. It may be beneficial to gain an understanding of state laws to ensure that you do not interfere with any existing custody arrangements or court orders.

Can a Parent Take Away a Child’s Phone If the Other Parent Bought It?

Generally speaking, yes. As long as the phone was bought under the parent or guardian’s name and no existing court orders prevent it, the parent can confiscate it at any time.

However, any parent with custodial rights must allow regular telephone contact between their children and the other parent. When a child visits their non-custodial parent, that parent must enable them to make phone calls to the other parent at any point, unless such contact would cause disruption or the child is asleep. Likewise, if the custodial parent calls to check in on their children, the visiting parent should be amicable and allow for contact, assuming the timing is reasonable.

Can You Lose Custody for Bad-Mouthing the Other Parent?

Yes, you can lose custody for bad-mouthing the other parent. A judge will assess whether or not one parent has been disparaging the other in front of the child. A parent who engages in this type of behavior can be found unfit and potentially lose custody of their child.

When one parent attempts to sabotage the relationship between the other parent and their child, this can have negative consequences that damage their physical and mental health. This behavior is known as parental alienation, which can occur when either parent engages in activities such as badmouthing the other parent in front of the child or preventing the child from having contact with them.

Can I Lose Custody if I Live With My Parents?

It depends on several factors, such as age and where your parents live relative to your spouse. Sometimes, a living arrangement with your parents may make it difficult for you and your spouse to share equal custody of your children. A judge will evaluate each situation on a case-by-case basis and determine what would be best for the well-being of the children involved.

What Happens if You Don’t Respond To Child Custody Papers?

If you choose not to respond to child custody papers, then the court will issue a default judgment, which could go against you or in favor of your spouse’s proposed plan for shared parenting time. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that you always review legal documents and respond appropriately when necessary.

How Long Does a Father Have To Be Absent To Lose His Rights?

While it varies from state to state, typically, a father must demonstrate at least six months of abandonment to lose his rights as a parent. A period of abandonment longer than this may also lead to a loss of parental rights depending on the circumstances.

Can I Lose Custody of My Child for Dating a Felon?

In most states, having close contact with felons is not grounds for automatically losing custody of your child. However, courts will consider various factors, such as past criminal behavior or proof that the felon is responsible for the current instability in the home environment, when making a custody decision.

Will Getting Married Help Custody?

Getting married does not necessarily guarantee better custody rights; however, in many cases, it may demonstrate stability and commitment, which could influence the court’s decision favorably. It is important to note that each situation will be assessed independently, so all facts must be considered when seeking legal counsel for marriage and custody matters.

If Someone Signs Over Custody, How Hard Is It To Get Back?

If someone voluntarily signs over their rights related to guardianship of a minor child, it will usually require going through the court system to regain those rights. This process typically requires filing an appeal and attending hearings where evidence must be presented to prove that reinstating custody would be in the best interest of the child.


Navigating a custody battle requires an understanding of what can be used against you in court. A judge will consider your behavior and relationship with the child while determining what’s in the child’s best interests. These actions can all be used against you:

  1. Altercations with the child or ex-spouse
  2. Substance abuse
  3. Failing to fulfill parental responsibilities
  4. Having a new partner around the child
  5. Criticizing the other parent

By being aware of potential pitfalls and taking proactive steps to address them, you can strengthen your case and ensure the best possible outcome for you and your children. Remember, knowledge is power, and arming yourself with this understanding will help you navigate the custody battle with confidence and clarity. Stay strong, and may the best interests of your children prevail.

We hope you found our blog post on protecting your rights in a custody battle informative and helpful. Going through a custody battle can be a challenging and emotional experience, and understanding what can be used against you is crucial for protecting your rights as a parent.