You’ve gone back and forth with your spouse about whether or not to get a divorce, and the two of you have officially decided to go through with your decision. The next step is telling your kids, which isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Luckily we have five surefire tips to help you tell your kids in the best possible way.
3. Tell all kids at the same time.
First things first, if possible, tell all of your kids at the same time. The last thing you want is for one kid to find out and tell another one of your children. All of your kids should hear the news directly from you.
2. Tell them together
Second, again if possible, tell your children about the divorce with your ex. Showing that the two of you can work together and will be united for your children is always a good message to send.
3. Be Direct
Third, be direct about what’s happening. Although it may seem easier to downplay the divorce, your children will find out soon enough and in the meantime, they will be confused about what’s happening if they don’t have the full story. For example, don’t lie about the reason you or your spouse is moving out. Make sure your children know it’s because of the divorce rather than making up an excuse for the move. It may seem hard at the time, but we promise it’s better for them to know sooner rather than later.
4. Advance Notice
Fourth, give your children advanced notice of the move. If possible, don’t tell them about the separation and move the day you’re moving out. Give the children, especially the younger ones, time to understand what’s happening and wrap their minds around how things will be different.
5. Choose the RIGHT time
Finally, choose the right time to inform your children of the divorce. Although there may never be “the right time”, try avoiding holidays and birthdays if possible. Those are times that shouldn’t be about you and your ex, but rather the children.
While you and your ex may find your own version of these tips, it’s important to ensure that your entire family understands the situation, has time to process and doesn’t feel confused. Each family is different, and sometimes some of these steps are not available, but between you and your ex, we’re sure you can find ways to modify these tips to make it work for you.
What do you think? If you’re divorced, do you have any advice on how they should tell their children? We’d love to know! Tell us about your experience in the comment section below.
As always, we are here to help.